翻译：CarolGao 校对：610、白羽黑鹭 英语字幕来源：tvsubtitles.net
消消气
天啊 Jeez.
你在里面都干什么了？ What are you doing in there?
- 那到底什么声音？ - 咋了？ - What in the world was that? - What?
海饼干：美国1930年代一匹著名的赛马
咋 你带着海饼干一起上的厕所吗？ What, do you got seabiscuit in there with you?
- 咋了嘛？ - 简直太可怕了 - What? - That was crazy.
- 喔 是啊 - 我从没听过... - Oh, yeah. - I never heard a...
那样的嘘嘘声 A stream like that.
我吃了一种新药 Yeah, I'm taking this new pill.
都不像人上厕所会发出的声音 That is, like, not human, that sound.
还会溅起来 我得小心躲着 It's got some backsplash too. I gotta be careful.
- 真的？ - 嗯 - Oh, really? - Yeah.
好了 那么... All right, so... Anyway,
看样子梅格瑞恩是没办法来了 it seems like Meg Ryan is just not gonna work,
她日程太满了 because her schedule is too busy
- 我们争取不到她了 - 来？来干嘛？ - and we're not gonna get her. - Work? Work for what?
来演乔治的前妻 For George's ex-wife.
但是丽莎库卓 But Lisa Kudrow
应该也不错 I think would also be great.
- 她是个好演员 - 是好演员 - She's a great actress. - Great actress.
但是我觉得应该... But I think you want...
我们应该找个不知名的人来演这个角色 I think you want to go with an unknown for this part.
- 为什么？ - 因为这样会更加真实 - Why? - Because you believe that it's real.
真不真实跟我们要做的有关系吗？ What's real got to do with what we do?
乔治的前妻在飞机上给他打电话的时候 Well, when George's ex-wife calls him from the plane,
对吧？然后... right? And, uh...
他正叫了人去修录制器... He's got the TiVo guy there...
- 嗯哼？ - 这事儿就发生在我身上 - Mm-hmm? - ... That happened to me
- 跟谢丽儿在一起的时候 - 啊哈 - with Cheryl. - Uh-huh.
谢丽儿应该来演这个角色 Cheryl should play this part.
谢丽儿！ Cheryl!
也许可以找长得像谢丽儿的人 Maybe somebody that looks like Cheryl, that's an idea.
- 不 她... - 蕾妮齐薇格怎么样？ - No, but she... - What about Renee Zellweger?
但是大家都不认识谢丽儿 而且她亲身经历了这个角色 But Cheryl, she's unknown and she lived this part.
- 而且她也是个演员！ - 所以事件真实的当事人 - And she's an actress! - So the person that it happens to
- 就是最适合演出事件的人？ - 你还想怎样？ - is the best actor? - What else do you want?
你觉得尼克松应该去演《对话尼克松》里的尼克松？ You think Nixon could have been Nixon in "Frost/Nixon"?
- 尼克松又不是演员 - 谢丽儿也不是 - Nixon's not an actor. - Neither is Cheryl.
- 她是的 - 好吧 让她来读下剧本 - She is. - All right, let's have her read.
她可以读的 说不定她会得到这个角色 She can read. Maybe she'll get it.
- 我可以接受 - 你可以接受？ - I'm open to it. - You're open to it.
- 是的 - 嘿 你们好 这是最新的剧本 - Yes. - Hey, guys, here's the latest scripts.
- 给你 - 非常感谢 - There you go. - Thank you very much.
喔 提醒一下 你们跟理查德路易斯约了午饭 And, oh! Reminder... You have lunch with Richard Lewis,
- 你们俩都是 - 好的 谢谢 - both of you. - Okay, thanks.
什么声音？ What is that?
空调有点... 我不知道 Yeah, that air conditioner is... I don't know.
- 一直发出噪音 - 哦 我来解决 - It's making noise up there. - Oh, I'll get it.
哦 用这个 别担心 Oh, here we go. Don't worry about it.
我以前经常帮我妈干这个 I used to do this for my mom all the time.
哦 好了 等一下 Oh, yep, hang on.
在这里 There we go.
这儿有一股响尾蛇的味道 It smells like a rattlesnake is in there.
哦 在那儿... Oh, there...
- 是不是好点了？ - 嗯 好点了 - Does that sound better? - Yeah, it's a little better.
- 是吗？ - 是的 - Yeah? - Yeah.
好了 There we go.
你们还需要什么吗？ All right, you guys need anything else?
- 没事了吗？ - 没事了 - Are you good? - No, we're good.
- 确定吗？ - 嗯 - Are you sure? - Yeah.
- 好了 谢谢你莫琳 - 不客气 - Okay, thanks, Maureen. - Yeah.
我受不了了 I can't take it anymore.
- 她怎么能穿成那样走来走去？ - 天天如此 - How can she walk around like that? - Every day.
每天 每天都是 Every day, every day.
得换个人了 We have to make a change.
不行 她是茱莉亚介绍来的 We can't. Julia got her the job.
我们不能开了她 We can't fire her.
- 得跟她谈谈 - 哦 好的 - We have to talk to her. - Oh, okay.
你得去跟她说说衣着问题 You need to talk to her about her clothing.
- 我... 我不行 - 你说什么呢？ - I... I can't do that. - What are you talking about?
我不行... 我做不了这样的事 I can't... I can't do it.
为什么？ Why not?
- 我不想... - 你觉得我想做吗？ - I don't want to. - Do you think I want to?
- 我才不想呢 - 你必须去 - I don't want to. - You have to.
- 必须？ - 是的 - I have to? - Yes.
你疯了吗？你去跟她说 Are you crazy? You do it.
不行 你... 这是你最擅长的事 No, but you... It's the kind of thing you do so well.
- 我擅长？ - 是啊！ - I do well? - Yes!
你疯了吗？这是你的拿手戏 Are you nuts? This is your forte.
- 不不不不不 - 是的是的是的 - No no no no no. - Yes yes yes.
你又聪明又有口才 最适合了 You're smart and eloquent, that's what you are.
这件事不需要口才 需要的是魅力 This is not a call for eloquence. This is a call for charm,
需要轻松愉快的感觉 for, you know, lightness
犹如春风拂面 说的就是你啊 and breeziness. That's you.
你才是真正的老大 是这部剧的明星 You're really the boss. You're the star of the show.
她会尊重你说的话 She'd really respect it coming from you.
我是唱白脸的 白脸 拉里 I'm white glove. White gloves, Larry.
我不做这种事 I don't do those things.
拍《宋飞正传》的时候你就是做这种事的人啊 When we did the show, you were the one who did this stuff.
记得那个厨子吗？你跟她说她用太多蛋黄酱了？ Remember the cook? How you told her she was using too much mayonnaise?
- 那次就是你说的！ - 我知道 - You did that! - I know.
然后她第二天就彻底悔改了 And she came back the next day duly chastened,
解决了金枪鱼和鸡蛋沙拉的问题 fixed the tuna, fixed the egg salad.
我知道 但是蛋黄酱不是私人问题 I know, but mayonnaise is not personal.
肚子上的肥肉对于她有多私人 蛋黄酱对那厨师就有多私人 The mayonnaise is as personal to the chef as her flabby stomach is to her.
那我们要怎么决定 我不会去做的 So how are we gonna decide who's... I'm not doing it.
我们猜拳 We'll choose.
- 猜单双 - 一局定胜负 - Odds even. - One takes.
- 一局定 - 你猜什么？ - One takes. - What do you got?
- 单数 - 你猜单数？ - Odds. - You got odds?
- 我猜双数 - 好的 - I got evens. - Okay.
- 一 二 三... - 出！ - One two three... - Shoot!
我赢了 你去说 I win. Do it.
好的 谢谢 再见 Okay, thank you. Bye.
- 嘿 拉里 - 嘿 - Hey, Larry. - Hey.
- 怎么了？ - 没什么 - What's going on? - Not too much.
- 是吗？ - 杰瑞和我刚在聊天 - Yeah? - Jerry and I were just talking.
嗯哼 Mm-hmm.
我们... And...
有个小问题... We kind of have a little bit of a problem...
哦不 Oh no.
...是关于 呃... ...with the, uh...
你露出来的肚子 The bare midriff.
什么？我的衣服？ What... With my shirt?
这里都露在外面 而且肚子... This is all exposed and the stomach...
如果不麻烦的话... If it's not too much trouble...
-啊哈 - 你可以穿长点的衣服吗？ - Uh-huh. - ... Maybe you could start wearing longer shirts?
- 你觉得怎么样？ - 好 - What do you think? - Okay.
- 我知道了 - 知道什么？ - I see, okay. - What?
- 因为我是女的 我理解 - 不是的！ - It's because I'm a woman. I understand. - No!
我以为你不是那样的人 拉里 I didn't think you were like that, Larry,
- 看来你也是的 - 我不是那种人！不是的 - but I guess you are. - I'm not like that! No, I'm not.
因为如果是男人穿成这样 你就不会对他说什么 Because if a man was wearing this, you wouldn't go out and say anything to him.
即使是男人 我也不想看到那个 Even if it was a man, I wouldn't want to see that.
"那个"？"那个"是什么 拉里？ "That"? What is "that," Larry?
那个嘛 你知道的 Well, that. You know.
- 你为什么一直做这个动作？ - 我有吗？ - Why do you keep doing this? - Do I?
- 有 - 噢 - Yes. - Oh.
- 呃 我不知道 - 到底怎么了 拉里？ - Um, I don't know. - What is the problem, Larry?
- 我的身体冒犯到你了吗？ - 没有 完全没有 - Are you offended by my body? - Not at all, not at all!
但是这的确不是适合办公场合的衣着 But it's not really appropriate attire for an office.
好吧 那你想让我穿什么 穆斯林的面纱女袍吗？ Okay, so you want me to wear, like, a burka?
不是的 介于这个和袍子之间的衣服 Not a burka, but something in-between this and a burka.
你知道我两年内减了60斤吗？ Do you know that I have lost 68 pounds in two years?
- 真了不起 - 谢谢你 - That is fantastic. - Thank you.
- 我为你感到高兴 - 为此我很骄傲 我想展示一下我的身材 - I'm so happy for you. - I'm very proud of it and I want to flaunt what I've got.
你一天有三分之二的时间可以在办公室以外展示 You can flaunt 2/3 of the day outside of the office.
有三分之一的时间不展示 你必须24小时都在展示吗？ And then you got 1/3 non-flaunt. Do you have to flaunt 24 hours?
为什么不暂停一会儿？ Why not take a break in the flaunt?
为什么需要暂停？ Why would I need to take a break in the flaunt?
有点神秘感也不错... There's something about being a little mysterious...
"喔唔 她衣服下是什么？ "Oooh, what's under that?
嘿 看看那个女人 她衣服下是什么样的？ Hey, look at that woman. What has she got under there?
- 她身材会是什么样的？" - 你知道吗 拉里？ - What's going on with that one?" - You know what, Larry?
我受不了这个 好吗？我不干了 抱歉 I don't need this, okay? I quit. I'm sorry.
- 你不干了？ - 是的 我干不了了 拉里 - You're gonna quit? - Yeah, I can't do it, Larry.
- 我不会再帮你做这些事了 - 没事 我理解 - I'm not gonna do this stuff for you anymore. - No, I understand.
- 我完全理解 - 不会再帮你买维生素 - I completely understand. - I'm not going on vitamin runs.
- 不会再帮你买袜子了 - 好 我自己去买 - I'm not gonna go buy your socks for you anymore. - Yeah, I'll buy my own socks.
真他妈荒唐 我走了 That's fucking ridiculous. I'm out of here.
- 真的吗？ - 是的 我走了 拉里！ - Seriously? - Yes, I'm gone, Larry!
成功！ Done!
我不敢相信她走了 I cannot believe she's gone.
我以为她会改变一下着装 I thought maybe she would change what she wore.
但是真没想到我们能彻底摆脱她 But I never thought we could be done with her completely.
但是这才是你让我去的真实原因吧？ But isn't that really why you sent me in?
我是说 你心底里是这样想的吧？ I mean, were you thinking of it somewhere in the back of your mind?
- 我希望如此 是的 我想... - 你想要我搞砸 - I was hoping, yeah. I was thinking... - That I would mishandle that
- 然后发生可怕的事 - 我想着 "这个大嘴巴 - and it would lead to something terrible? - I thought, "this bulvan
过去两分钟之后 will walk in there and in two minutes
她就会走人了" 我就是这么想的 she'll be out in a huff." That's what I thought.
嘿 拜托你！ Hey, come on, man!
- 敢这么加塞！ - 白痴！ - Just pulling out like that! - Idiot!
他要干嘛？ What's he doing?
说什么呢傻逼？！ You got something you want to say to me, cuntface?
- 嗯？ - 嘿 真不好意思 - Huh? - Hey, look, I'm sorry.
我没看到你车过来 对不起 I didn't see you pull out. I'm sorry.
好好学学开车吧 操你妈的！ Learn to fucking drive, you fuck!
- 按喇叭很危险 - 是的 - Honking's very dangerous. - Yeah.
我尽量不按喇叭 只有在最紧急的情况下才会按 I try never to honk. Only in dire emergencies.
那如果绿灯了 你就一直等前面的人... So you just wait if someone's in front of you, the light has turned...
- 对 - 什么都不做？就坐他们后面等着？ - Yeah. Yeah. - Nothing? You just sit behind them and wait?
- 能不能稍微...按一下？ - 轻轻地按？ - Can you do a little... Huh? - The gentle honk?
- 嗯 - 是的 - Yeah. - Yeah.
- 就像清清喉咙 - 我最多 - The throat clear. - The most I could do
- 也就轻轻按一下 - 没错 - is a gentle honk. - Exactly.
- "你好 不好意思" - 你技术熟练吗？ - "Hello, excuse me." - Do you have that technique?
- 我能很好的表达"不好意思" - 这是种语言 - I do a great excuse me. - It's a language.
- 的确是种语... 绝对的 - 是啊 - It's a lang... Absolutely. - Yeah.
- 顺便提一句 - 怎么了？ - By the way. - What?
你吃个三明治 How many napkins does a person need
要用多少纸巾啊？ to get through a sandwich?
我不知道 要用很多 I don't know. I use a lot of napkins.
- 一直如此 每顿都是 - 你应该带个浴巾来 - Always. Every meal. - You should bring a bath towel to eat.
那才是你应该带的 That's what you should bring.
- 嘿 伙计们 对不起... - 嘿！ - Hey, guys, I'm so... - Hey!
- 嘿 嘿 很高兴见到你 - 你好吗？ - Hey hey, man, good to see you. - How are you?
- 好久不见 很高兴见面 - 你想怎么来？ - Long time. Good to see you. - What do you like to do?
- 我不知道你习惯怎么样 - 算了... - I don't know what you do. - Plea... Yeah.
我们... 点了餐 等不及了 We... We ordered. We couldn't wait.
我看到了 但是我... 我也想吃点 I can see. But I'm... Can I... I want to eat something.
我饿坏了 I'm famished, so...
能不能... 我真的很饿 You know, can I... I'm starved.
- 挪过去点 - 饿死了 - Move over. - I'm starved.
- 应该你挪... - 什么？你挪 - You should... You know. - What? No, you.
怎么了？我能坐下了吗？ What's going on? Can I sit down?
快点 坐那边 Come on, scootch over.
你认识他都多少年了？你们很熟 How many years you guys... You know this guy? You're close friends.
没错 正因为我认识他更久 所以他应该坐你那边 Right, I know him longer so he should sit over there,
因为我会比你跟他说更多的话 because I'm actually gonna be talking to him more than you
要跟他有眼神交流 so I should have eye contact with him
不然我就得一直转过来扭着脖子 as opposed to turning around and straining my neck.
你知道的 我是左撇子 我不能... You know, I'm a lefty. I can't...
他坐你右边 正好对你有利 It'll be to your right. It works to your advantage.
你想让我坐过去的唯一原因 Look, the only reason you want me to slide over is because you want
- 就是你想有更宽敞的座位 - 当然了 - the luxury suite. - Of course I want the luxury suite.
- 你也想有更宽敞的座位 - 是的 - You want the luxury suite too. - Yes, I do.
没错 我也想要 但是你... You're right, you're right, I do. But you...
- 嘿 他去哪儿了？ - 天啊 - Hey, where'd he go? - Oh my god.
- 搞什么鬼？ - 我被你们气死了 - What the hell? - I'm fucking angry at you.
嗨 你们好！ Hi, guys. Hi!
- 嗨 - 我正好在附近 - Hi. - I was just on the lot.
- 就来顺便拜访一下 - 嗨 谢丽儿 - I thought I'd come by and say hi. - Hi, Cheryl.
杰瑞 真的太谢谢你了 Jerry, I wanted to thank you so much.
- 喔 - 一定会很棒的 - Oh. - This is gonna be so great.
谢谢你让我演 Thank you for giving me the part
《宋飞正传》重聚特辑里的那个角色 in the "Seinfeld" reunion.
- 哪个...？ - 重聚特辑里的那个角色？ - The...? - The part on the reunion show?
- 你知道的 - 哦 - You know. - Oh.
- 那... - 为此我真的很兴奋 - So... - I am so excited about it
- 我想当面谢谢你 - 哦 这个嘛 - and I wanted to thank you personally. - Oh, well,
我... 真的不敢相信 I'm... I... I can't believe it.
- 我也是！ - 你先... 我一会儿去楼上找你 - I can't either! - Why don't... I'll go meet you upstairs.
- 好的 - 好了 - Okay. - All right.
楼上见 走吧... I'll see you upstairs. Go...
你不如先上去？ Why don't you go up?
好吧 All right.
- 一会儿见 - 好 - I'll see you later. - Okay.
- 我感觉他... - 没有的事 - I got an odd, um... - No.
...有点奇怪 没有吗？ ...vibe from him. No?
没有 事情是这样 No. You know, the only thing is
你可能... 呃... you prob... Um...
你可能需要去... You're kinda gonna have to...
- 试镜 - 我还得去为这个角色试镜？ - Audition, yeah. - I have to audition for this part?
- 我以为你的意思是直接让我演了 - 不行 要试镜 - I thought you said I had it. - No, you do have it.
- 肯定是你演 - 这就是为什么... - You do have it, you know. - That's why...
就像赢了选举之后还得等宣誓就职 It's like winning an election but waiting to get sworn in.
这个试镜就像宣誓就职 没什么的 So the audition is the swearing in. It's nothing.
- 只是走个形式 - 形式 没错 - It's a formality. - Formality, yeah.
- 但是我确定会演这个角色？ - 你只需要去读剧本 - But I have the part? - You just show up and read it,
- 就... 你知道的 他需要看见... - 读剧本？ - and just... You know, he needs to see that... - Read it?
他需要知道你能读能写什么的 ...he needs to see that you can read and write, you know, whatever.
- 好吧 那... - 好了 - All right, well... - All right, so...
到时见... 你打电话告诉我 I'll see you, uh... You'll call me and tell me.
- 好的 - 什么时候来... 好吧？ - Okay. - Right? When to come in and...
- 嗯 - ...走形式 - Yeah. - ... For the formality.
- 你看上去不错 - 谢谢 - You look good. - Thank you.
我真不敢相信你这么无礼 I can't believe that you would have the audacity
居然敢谈这个话题 to even... To even broach the subject,
- 有胆... 你来了 - 首先 不是我干的 - to have the gut... Okay. - Well, first of all, I didn't do it.
是他干的 听着 Excuse me, he did it. Listen,
莫琳怎么回事？怎么... what is this with Maureen? What... What...
我已经尽量婉转了 I tried to be very sensitive.
我... 我已经尽力了 但是她夺门而出 I... I did, but she stormed out.
你不能走到一个女人面前 You can't go up to a woman
说她的衣服不得体 and tell her that her shirt is inappropriate
说那让你分心或什么的 这是性别歧视！ or distracting to you or whatever the hell you said. It is sexist!
- 完完全全的性别歧视 - 是个男的我们也会说的 - It's completely sexist. - We would have said that to a man
如果... 如果有个男的露啤酒肚的话 if... If there was man flab.
- 是的 - 男人根本就不会那样穿 - Yeah. - A man wouldn't even dress like that.
只有女人才会那样穿 那是年轻女孩... Women dress like that. That's the look for the...
- ...的打扮 - 是的 你住洛杉矶 - ... Young girls. - Yeah, for your swinging,
那里时髦又性感 sexy L.A. Scene that you live in.
- 我们又不住在那样的环境里 - 你说什么呢？ - We don't live in that world. - What are you talking about?
他就住在洛杉矶啊 你对自己有啥误解？ He lives in Los Angeles. Who do you think you are?
他住在自己的脑袋里 完全不了解状况 He lives in his own mind. He doesn't know anything about it.
重点是... 也有很多男人 The point is this... There's lots of men that we talked about hiring
- 由于种种原因 没有被我们雇用的 - 没错！ - that we wouldn't hire for various reasons... - Absolutely!
是不是有个家伙我们不喜欢 就因为他血管太明显了？ Yeah, what about the guy we didn't like because he was veiny?
- 是的 是有个青筋暴起的家伙 - 就是嘛 - Yeah, there was the veiny guy. - Yeah.
《伊弗宁谢德》的第一副导演 满嘴唾沫泡 That first A.D. From "Evening Shade" had foamy mouth.
- 我们也没要他 - 他泡泡太多了 我不能跟这样的人共事 - We didn't hire him. - He was bubbly. I can't work with somebody who's bubbly.
伙计们 我觉得你们忘了莫琳的妈妈 Guys, I think you've forgotten that Maureen's mother
她在我们家做保姆很多年了 was our nanny for years and years
帮忙照看我的女儿们 and she helped me with the girls.
她精神状况很不稳定 Okay, she is very mentally unstable
她现在日子很难熬 好吗？ and right now she's going through a very rough time. All right?
她的女儿被开除了 Her daughter getting fired
或者是辞职了或者是其他什么 or quitting or whatever it is that happened,
这会让她... 她可能会有自杀倾向 it's gonna make her... She could be, like, suicidal.
- 她有自杀倾向？ - 你们得让莫琳回来工作 - She's suicidal? - You've got to get Maureen back here to work.
- 好吗？必须这么做 - 你真的... 应该你来处理这件事 拉里 - Okay? You've got to do it. - You really should... You should take care of this, Larry.
是应该 你现在就得开车过去 You should. You need to drive over there right now.
- 必须这么做 没错 - 是的 - That's what you have to do. That's right. - Yeah.
真是的 Man.
- 杰瑞和我谈过了 - 嗯哼 - So Jerry and I talked, and... - Mm-hmm.
我们想让你回来 ...we want you to come back.
回来工作 Want you back.
你们想让我回去？ You want me to come back?
是的 Yeah.
我走的原因就是你对我这件衣服不满意 Well, the whole reason was because you weren't okay with this shirt.
老实说 我都不知道我当时在想些什么 Honestly, I don't even know what I was thinking about.
我对这衣服没意见 对整个那啥都没意见 I'm fine with the shirt. I'm fine with the whole thing.
- 那个... 那个... - 那个是什么意思？ - The whole... The whole... - What do you mean the whole thing?
- 整个... - 整个什么？你指的是什么？ - All the whole... - What is this whole thing? What is this?
你知道的 不管那叫什么 我都没意见 You know, whatever's happening there, I'm fine with it.
我的肚子？你什么意思？ My stomach? What does that mean?
隆起 还有那整个... 都没问题 You know, the protuberance and the whole... All of it.
- 所以我们没问题了？ - 我是说... - So we're good? - I mean...
这件事很简单 拉里 It's a simple thing, Larry.
- 要说最理想的情况吗？ - 你说 - Perfect world? - Okay.
如果可以再长几厘米 盖住肚脐 Maybe an inch further down, cover up the belly button.
那就最好了 理想情况的话 That's all. Perfect world, perfect world!
我会把那个小东西盖住 小肚脐 I'd cover that little thing there, the little belly button.
就长几厘米 但是无论露不露肚脐 An inch lower. You know, but belly button or no belly button,
我们都想让你回来工作 we want you to come back.
- 好吧 - 好 - Okay. - Good.
很高兴我们能谈谈 拉里 I'm glad we talked, Larry.
- 喔 亲爱的 - 嗨 妈妈 - Oh, honey. - Hi, mom.
嗨 宝贝 堵车实在太可怕了 Hi, honey. The traffic was unbelievable.
噢 不 Oh no.
- 妈 你还好吗？ - 噢 天啊 - Mom, are you okay? - Oh my god.
这是我的老板 拉里 This is my boss. This is Larry.
不 这不是拉里 这是... No, this is not Larry. This... You...
你简直跟我死去的前夫汤姆 You are the spitting image
长得一模一样 of my deceased husband Tom.
噢 天啊 Oh my god.
我都浑身发热了 噢喔 Oh, I'm having a hot flash. Oh ho ho.
真的吗？我真的很像他？ Seriously? I really look like this guy?
- 喔 - 你跟他长得一模一样 - Ohhh. - You look exactly like him.
他... 他怎么... 发生了什么？ Wh... What... Wh... What happened to him?
一切都太突然了 他被杀了 然后... Oh, it happened so fast. You know, he was murdered, and...
- 我们那天结婚... - 被杀了？！ - We got married... - Murdered?!
是的！那是1962年 Yes! It was 1962.
我们的婚礼那天 我们正开车去墨西哥准备度蜜月... It was our wedding day. We were driving down to Mexico for our honeymoon...
♫ Don't Say Nothin' Bad (About My Baby) - The Cookies ♫
Don't say nothing bad about my baby.
-Oh no. - Don't say nothing bad about my baby.
- I love you so. - Don't say nothing bad about my baby.
-Dontcha know? -Don't say nothing bad about my baby.
- He's good. - He's good!
- He's good to me. - He's so good to me.
-That's all I care about. -I don't care about nothing else!
That's all I care about.
喔 Ohhh.
- 开心吗宝贝？ - 我好开心 - Happy, baby? - I'm so happy.
你想过会跟我这样的人结婚吗？ You ever think you'd get a guy like me?
没有 我觉得我妈妈也没想到 No. I don't think my mom did either.
嗯 期待一会儿洞房吗？ Yeah. Are you looking forward to the sex later?
嗯 我得承认 Well, I have to admit
有小小幻想一下 that I have been fantasizing a little.
- 我得向你坦白一件事 - 什么？ - I have a confession to make. - Yeah?
我都不知道我要干嘛 I don't think I know what I'm doing.
嘿！ Hey!
- 搞什么？ - 让他走吧 - What the hell? - Just let him go.
- 你在干嘛？ - 别管他了 - What are you doing? - Just let him go.
- 嘿 你也一样！ - 不 不 - Hey, same to you! - No no.
- 啊哈 没错！ - 拜托不要 - Uh-huh, yeah! - Please don't.
- 不要 - 老天哦 哈？ - Please don't. - Jesus, huh?
- 别毁了我们完美的一天 - 真是个蠢蛋 - Do not ruin our perfect day. - What a schmohawk.
- 混帐东西！来啊 停车 - 继续开吧 - You bastard! Go ahead, pull over. - Just keep going.
别停下 继续开 You don't pull over. Just keep driving.
- 拜托 不要打架啊 - 好吧 好吧 - Please, don't get in a fight. - Okay okay.
- 别担心 - 求你了... 汤姆！ - Don't worry about it. - Please, just... Tom!
- 你出来想干嘛？ - 等着 - What are you doing out here? - Wait here.
等等 他在你后面！ Wait, he's behind you!
不！不！ No no no!
- 噢！ - 该死的白痴！ - Oh! - Fucking moron!
妈的学学开车吧！ Learn how to fucking drive!
学学怎么加速！ Learn how to speed the hell up!
...bad about my baby, oh no.
Don't say nothing bad about my baby.
他就只是按了下喇叭！ and all he did was honk!
他就按了个喇叭！ He honked!
- 难以置信 - 是啊 - That's unbelievable. - It is.
- 都不能按喇叭了！不能按喇叭 - 不 不行 - You can't honk anymore! You cannot honk. - Oh, no no.
跟你们说还有什么不能做的... 不能嘘别人 I'll tell you what else you can't do... You can't shush.
不能按喇叭 不能嘘 No honking, no shushing.
那声音... 嘘 你知道的 That sound... Shh-shh, you know.
- 让人不舒服 会吓到别人 - 太糟了 - It is offensive. It's startling. - It's awful.
但是别人不会因为嘘就把你杀了 But people don't kill you for shushing.
- 会因为按喇叭杀了你 - 这倒不假 - They kill you for honking. - That part's true.
我来帮你拿吧 把这些都收起来 Let me help you with the groceries. Let me get these out of your way.
谢谢你亲爱的 我给你看张汤姆的照片 Thank you, dear. I'm gonna show you a picture of Tom.
你绝对不会相信的 太像了 Because you're not going to believe. It's uncanny.
看啊 嗯？ Come on, hmm?
- 能看出来吧？ - 很抱歉 - You see it, don't you? - I'm sorry to say.
- 怎么？ - 他一点都不像我 - What? - He doesn't look anything like me.
- 说真的 - 你看啊... - Honestly. - Look, the... The...
头发 眼镜 都一样的 The hair, the glasses, everything.
- 是一样的 承认吧 - 不是所有秃顶的人都长得一样的 - It's the same. Confirm it. - All bald people do not look alike.
我不明白你怎么就看不出来 I don't see how you cannot see that.
- 我能用下洗手间吗？ - 嗯 右手边第二个门 - May I use your bathroom? - Yeah, second door on the right.
好的 Okay.
噢 Oh.
- 我要走了 - 嘿 拉里 - I'm just gonna take off. - Oh, hey, Larry.
- 嘿 - 嘿 很高兴我们谈过了 - Hey. - Hey, I'm glad we had that talk.
- 是的 - 我感觉好多了 - Yes! - I feel much better.
- 我也是 我也是 - 谢谢你过来 - Oh, me too, me too. - Thanks for coming over.
- 很高兴见到你 - 你应该跟她说说 - So nice meeting you. - You should talk to her.
你懂的 她露出来的肚子 You know, about the bare midriff
还有肚脐 and the belly button.
- 喂？ - 拉里 我是那个隐形的犹太人 - Hello? - Larry, it's the invisible Jew.
- 理查德路易斯 记得我吗？ - 噢 嘿！ - Richard Lewis, remember me? - Oh, hey!
- 记得 - 我不敢相信 - Yeah. - I cannot believe
我被邀请去跟你和杰瑞吃午餐 I get invited to lunch with you and Jerry.
我像个傻子一样站在那儿 你都不... I'm standing there like a putz. You don't even...
你都不假装一下我在场 You don't even make believe I'm there.
马里的鬼魂(Marley's Ghost)： 《圣诞颂歌》中吝啬鬼斯克鲁奇死去的商业伙伴雅各布马里的鬼魂
我是什么？马里的鬼魂吗？ What am I, Marley's Ghost?
真对不起 你说的没错 I am so sorry. You're so right.
这件事都是我的错 I was completely in the wrong there
真诚地向你道歉 and I truly apologize.
跟你说为什么我感觉加倍的难受 I'll tell you why I felt even doubly shitty,
因为我前几天去了一个收藏品交易会 because I went to a memorabilia show the other day
给你买了个礼物 and I bought you a present.
乔迪马乔：纽约洋基队的明星中外野手
猜猜是什么... 乔迪马乔的签名球棒 Guess what... A Joe Dimaggio bat
他在世界大赛中用过的 that he signed that he used in a world series game.
- 天啊 你真是太好了 - 没错 - Oh my god, that's so sweet. - That's right.
- 我本来打算给你的 - 真够意思 - And I was gonna give it to you. - Oh, that's so sweet of you.
谢谢！这样吧 先放你那儿 Thank you! You know what? Keep it on you
下次见面再给我 and you'll give it to me next time I see you.
- 下次我肯定会给你让位子的 - 好吧 - And next time I'll slide down. - All right.
可以 好吧 Fair enough. All right.
- 好了 - 就这样 - Fine. All right. - All right.
喂？ Hello?
人呢... Where...
拉里！ Larry!
呃呵 Ehh.
妈！ Mom!
你必须来看看这个 过来 快来！ You've got to see this. Come here, come here!
- 噢喔！ - 我的上帝 - Oh oh! - Oh my god.
- 怎么了？ - 你看耶稣！ - What? - Look at Jesus!
我知道！ I know!
好了 我们进行到第几页了？ All right, what page are we on?
第 12 页 问你个事 12. Let me ask you something.
- 如果你跟一个男的打电话到一半断掉了... - 嗯哼？ - When you get drop-off calls with a guy... - Mm-hmm?
...不用再打过去正式地说再见吧？ ...you don't call back for an official goodbye, do you?
- 不用 - 是吗？ - No. - Huh?
老婆有老婆的规矩 I mean, you have your wife rules
朋友有朋友的规矩 and you have your friend rules.
- 是的 - 老婆的话 你一定得... - Yes. - For the wife, you're always...
谨言慎行 别摸了老虎屁股 You must be careful not to disturb the exotic bird.
- 没错 - 不过 是什么样的男的？ - Right. - But what kinda guy?
- 普通人吗？ - 路易斯 - I mean, a regular guy? - Lewis.
喔 这就不一样了 Oh. Well, that's different.
是啊 Yeah.
你们进入到谈话的收尾阶段了吗？ Were you in the wind-down phase of the call?
- 完全在收尾了 - 有人说"那么"或者"好了"吗？ - Total wind-down, yeah. - Did anybody say "so" and "all right"?
说了 说了"好了" Yeah, I mean, there was an "all right."
是用那种语调吗？那种"好了就这样吧" In that register? That "all right!"
- 嗯 我觉得是的 - 这样吗？那就算半个再见了 - Yeah, I think there was. - That one? Okay, well, that's half a goodbye.
- 没错 已经说完了 - 不需要再打过去说再见了 - Right, it's over. - You don't need the goodbye.
- 嗯 - 嘿 你们好 - Yeah. - Hey, guys,
- 能跟你们说件事吗？ - 当然了 莫琳 - can I talk to you for a second? - Oh, sure, Maureen.
嗯... Um...
噢 天啊 呃... Oh, gosh, uh...
- 你还好吗？ - 事实上我这辈子 - Are you all right? - I'm actually the best I've ever been
- 从没感觉这么好过 - 哇哦 - in my life. - Oh, wow.
我看上去有不一样吗？ Um, do I look different to you?
没有 我看到的跟平时看到的一样 No, I'm seeing everything I usually see.
- 真的吗？ - 是的 - Really? - Yeah.
但是我的整个人生都改变了 'cause my whole life has changed.
昨天... 实际上就是你刚离开的时候 Yesterday... It was actually right after you left,
奇迹发生了 a miracle happened.
我到卫生间 然后也叫了我妈妈过去 I went into the bathroom and I called my mother in
因为那里墙上挂了一幅耶稣像 because there is a painting hanging up of Jesus.
很精美 It's beautiful.
他脸上 And he's got a tear
留下了一滴眼泪 coming down on his face.
- 真的吗？ - 一颗真的眼泪 - Really? - A real tear
之前从来没有 that was never there before.
- 哇哦 - 你能相信吗？ - Wow. - Can you believe that?
- 够奇怪的 - 这是个奇迹！ - That's odd. - It's a miracle!
- 他选中了我们 - 你确定不是... - He chose us. - Are you sure it wasn't...
只是水吗？ You know, water?
不可能 在眼睛的高度 No no, it was at eye level.
水不可能跑到那么高的地方 It was... There's no way water could get up there.
你们见证过这样的奇迹吗？ Have you ever witnessed a miracle like that?
- 没有 - 我是说 你能想象出这样的事吗？ - No. - I mean, can you think of one like that?
我觉得每次勃起都是一个奇迹 I think every erection is a miracle.
总之 我很遗憾 但是... Anyway, I'm sad to tell you guys this, but I...
我得辞职了 I have to quit.
- 什么？ - 噢！ - What? - Ohh!
- 实在对不起 - 喔 - I'm sorry, you guys. - Oooh.
见证这个奇迹之后 我母亲和我觉得 It's just my mother and I decided after seeing it
不应该只有我们知道 we can't just keep it to ourselves, you know?
我们打算去买辆野营车 巡回全国 We're going to go and buy an RV And tour the country
给全国展示我们的奇迹 and show the whole country our miracle.
- 真的太神奇了 - 太好了 - It's amazing. - That's wonderful.
我们不能把这当成自己的秘密 And we can't just keep it to ourselves.
- 必须跟大家分享 - 必须的 - We have to share it. - You have to.
相信你的直觉 Trust your gut, you know.
非常感谢 Thank you so much.
呃 可是我还想请你帮个忙 Um, I have to ask you a favor though.
- 我们想用的野营车... - 嗯？ - The RV That we want to use... - Yeah?
- ...需要一个担保人 我们通常绝对不会... - 没问题！ - ... We need a cosigner. I would normally never... - You got it!
别多想了 Don't even think about it.
- 小事一桩 - 你愿意吗？！ - That's nothing. - You'll do it?!
- 当然 - 这就是拉里大卫 - Of course. - That is Larry David.
- 跟她说说我是什么样的 - 拉里 "我能帮你吗" 大卫 - Tell her who I am. - Larry "how can I help" David.
- 没错 - 必须明天下午三点前签好 - Yes. - It would have to be done by 3:00 tomorrow.
- 好的 好的！签什么都行 - 真的吗？ - Yes yes! I'll sign anything. - Really?
- 需要什么都行 - 那明天见 - Anything you want, yeah. - I'll see you tomorrow.
- 好！ - 谢谢你 - Yes! - Thank you.
- 谢谢 谢谢你... - 太好了 - Thank you. Thank you for all the... - Wonderful.
...努力的工作 ...the good work.
是你溅上去的吧？ You splashed him, didn't you?
我溅上去的 I splashed him.
不 别担心 莫琳 No no, don't worry, Maureen.
我就是先买点吃的 I'm just getting something to eat.
我三点会到银行签字的 I'll be at the bank at 3:00 to cosign.
对 会去的 Yes, I will.
好了 三点见 All right, I'll see you at 3:00.
- 谢谢 - 不用 - Thank you. - Mm-hmm.
嘿！把纸巾放回去 Hey you! Put the napkins back.
- 什么？ - 只给两张 我在你袋子里放了两张了 够了 - What? - Only two. I put two in the bag. That's plenty.
两张？开什么玩笑？我买的可是鸡肉帕尔马干酪潜艇三明治 Two, are you kidding? I got a chicken parmesan sub here.
昨天有个残疾小孩来... 你知道他拿了几张纸巾吗？ I had a handicapped kid in here yesterday... Know how many napkins he got?
- 两张！ - 怎么 他们跟我们吃法不一样吗？ - Two! - What, do they eat differently than the rest of us?
这才是重点 两张 That's the point. Two.
- 什么是重点？ - 两张纸巾 - What's the point? - Two napkins.
- 我没听懂那个残疾人的例子 - 把纸巾放回去 - I don't get the handicapped reference. - Put the napkins back.
- 残疾人什么梗？ - 把纸巾放回去 - What's the handicapped reference? - Put the napkins back.
- 好吧 给 - 非常感谢 - Fine. Here. - Thank you very much.
- 好了 - 好了吧？ - Okay. - Okay?
好了 十分感谢 All right. Thank you very much.
- 感谢惠顾 - 嗯 - Thank you for your business. - Okay.
噢 天啊 Oh god.
真见鬼 Damn it.
下午好 先生 Good afternoon, sir.
请出示驾驶证和登记证 License and registration, please.
长官 能麻烦告诉我我做了什么吗？ Would you mind telling me what I did, officer?
嗯？我觉得我没有超速啊 Huh? I think I was going the speed limit.
你在哪儿... 买的那个三明治？ Where'd you... Where'd you buy that sandwich?
恩佐披萨餐厅 Enzo's.
- 他给你附带纸巾了吗？ - 嗯 - He give you any napkins with that? - Yeah yeah.
是吗？他给了你几张？ Yeah? How many napkins they give you?
两张 给两张纸巾 Two, they give you two napkins.
那个袋子里有什么？ What's in the bag?
一些塑料刀叉 Some plastic forks, knives,
勺子 spoons.
请让我检查一下那个袋子 Let me see the bag, please.
- 我需要纸巾！ - 请下车 - I need them! - Step out of the car, please.
噢 拜托！真的吗？ Oh, come on! Are you serious?
我做错了什么？就拿了点纸巾 我脸上会沾到酱 What did I do? I took some napkins. I got sauce on my face.
- 我需要纸巾擦干净 - 请离车远一点 - I need napkins to clean the sauce. - Step back of the car, please.
- 拜托 真是疯了！ - 请面对车站好 - Come on, this is crazy! - Face the car, please.
- 就是点纸巾啊！ - 把手放到车上 - We're talking about napkins! - Put your hands on the car.
你确定不是别的几个？ So you're sure it's not one of the other guys?
- 就是他们俩？ - 嗯 我记得他带了眼镜 - Just those two? - No no, I remember the glasses
而且是秃头 秃头戴眼镜是肯定的 and the bald head. Bald with glasses for sure.
好 All right.
4号和6号 请向前走一步 Four and six, step forward please.
其他人从右边出去 The rest of you step out to the right.
好了 你觉得是哪个？ Okay, what do you think?
- 不确定 - 不知道是哪个？ - I just can't tell. - Don't know which one it is?
不清楚 我只看到了他的秃头 I'm confused. I just see bald.
我... 我不知道 I... I don't know.
好了 你们可以走了... 你们两个 All right, you're free to go... Both of you.
嘿 谢谢你来警局接我 Hey, thanks so much for picking me up at the police station.
我不敢相信你错过了签字 I can't believe you missed the signing.
还是因为纸巾这么傻的事情 I mean, it's over something so stupid as napkins.
说真的 你为什么非要用那么多纸巾啊？ I mean, why do you have to use so many napkins?
我也不知道 我就是喜欢用很多纸巾 I don't know. I like a lot of napkins.
嘿 对了 多谢你让我开这辆车 Hey, thanks for letting me drive the car, by the way.
- 感觉不错吧？ - 天啊 真不敢相信这么多年了你还留着 - It feels good, huh? - Oh my god, I can't believe you kept it all these years.
- 当然了 - 我愿意出两百块买下来 - Oh yeah. - I'll give you $200 for it.
- 噢 - 你觉得怎么样？ - Oh. - What do you say?
- 不行 我离不开它 - 嘿！ - No no, I couldn't part with it. - Hey!
- 别按喇叭 别按喇叭！ - 别说话 - Don't honk, don't honk! - Quiet.
- 我的老天 - 好啊 停车！ - My gosh. - Yeah, pull over!
别停下 噢 拜托 别停车 Don't stop. Oh, please, don't stop.
- 我马上回来 - 不 不 别下车！ - I'll be right back. - No no, don't get out of the car!
- 去去就回 - 别下车！ - I'll be back in a minute. - Don't get out!
- 嘿 - 你真有胆啊！ - Hey. - You have a lot of nerve!
- 是吗？ - 你真他妈有胆 - I do? - You have a lot of fucking nerve.
- 怎么说 我怎么了？ - 你开始勾搭摩门教美容师了？ - Why, what did I do? - What, are you banging some kind of Mormon beautician?
- 别瞎说了 - 那他妈的是谁？ - Get out of here. - Who the fuck is that?
- 说来话长 - 你听好了 - It's a long story. - Let me tell you something,
我给你打电话说礼物的事情的时候 电话断了 when I called you about that gift, okay, the phones went out.
- 你没有再打给我！ - 我已经用"好了"结束了对话 - You didn't call me back! - I ended our conversation with all right,
- 然后电话才断的 - 我想要正式的再见 - then the drop off. - I want an official goodbye.
你就不能假装已经说了再见吗？ You can't assume goodbye?
我们的怀旧周末来到了1963年 Our flashback weekend continues back to 1963.
下面这首是甜心曲奇的《别说我宝贝的坏话》 It's The Cookies, "Don't Say Nothin' Bad (About My Baby)".
Don't say nothing bad about my baby...
我还是要把礼物给你 虽然你根本不配 I'm gonna give you your gift anyway. You don't deserve it.
- 我肯定是个受虐狂 - 你真是太好了 - I must just be such a wuss. - That's very sweet of you.
- 太谢谢你了 - 这已经不只是好了 - That's so nice of you. - It's beyond sweet.
提醒一下 这可是乔迪马乔的球棒 This is a Joe Dimaggio bat, by the way.
噢 不 不 Uh-oh, oh no.
小心后面！球棒 球棒！ Behind you! The bat, the bat!
汤姆！ Tom!
Don't say nothing bad about my baby.
Don't say nothing bad about my baby...
- 路易斯会没事吗？ - 嗯 毫发未损 - So Lewis is gonna be okay? - Yeah. Unscathed.
真是个硬汉 That is a tough guy.
但是他晚上要在医院过夜 But he stayed overnight in the hospital.
我去... 我去看望他了 I went to... I went to go visit him.
- 喔 你真体贴 - 嗯 但是他当时在睡觉 - Oh, that was nice of you. - Yeah, but he was sleeping
- 所以我其实没跟他说上话 - 噢 - so I didn't really get to talk to him. - Oh.
我觉的这也算是看望过他了 你说呢？ I'm thinking that counts as a visit though, wouldn't you say?
- 你的确去了 - 我去了 - You were there. - I visited.
- 该做的都做了 - 他没什么可抱怨的 - You did your part. - He can't complain.
- 没得抱怨 - 没错 - Can't complain, no. - Right.
- 我得去上个厕所 所以... - 好的 - You know what? I gotta go pee, so... - All right.
考夫曼和哈特： 乔治考夫曼和莫斯哈特，美国剧作家，两人曾搭档创作一系列成功戏剧
明天我们可以穿得像考夫曼和哈特一样... Maybe tomorrow we'll dress up like Kaufman and Hart...
穿西装打领带 粗花呢上衣 Put on coats and ties, tweed jackets.
- 是个好主意 - 抽点香烟 - Yeah, that's a good idea. - Smoke some cigarettes.
也许就能写出来了 Maybe we'll have a good writing day.
奥利弗里德和阿伦贝茨： 英国演员，曾共同出演1969年电影《恋爱中的女人》 片中两人的一段裸体摔跤戏被认为暗示了同性情欲
是啊 也许还应该像奥利弗里德和阿伦贝茨那样脱光了摔跤 Yeah, then maybe wrestle naked like Oliver Reed and Alan Bates.
糟糕 Shit.
嘿！ Hey!
该死 Oh, damn it.
操 Fuck.
- 我进去帮你拿东西 - 谢谢妈妈 - I'll come in and help you with your stuff. - Thanks, mom.
你听到了吗？ Do you hear that?
嗯 什么声音？ Yeah, what is that?
我觉得是这边传出来的 I think it's coming over here.
- 你也听到了吧？ - 是的！ - You hear it, right? - Yes!
- 哇哦 到底是什么声音？ - 在这边 - Wow, what the heck is that? - It's over here.
- 天啊 - 噢 亲爱的 是什么... 那是什么？ - Oh my god. - Oh, honey, what is... What was that?
- 你在干什么？ - 拉里？ - What are you doing? - Larry?
门... 门关了 我... 我... The... The... The door was locked. I - I...
怎么能溅到这儿？怎么能... How did that even get up here? How did that...
- 到底怎么回事？ - 噢我的天啊 - What is it? - Oh my god.
- 怎么了？ - 这就是耶稣怎么... - What? - That's how Jesus...
- 这就是为什么... - 噢 不 - That's how... - Oh no.
- 不！ - 噢 不 不会是你吧 - No! - Oh no, you didn't.
是你干的吗 拉里？ You did not do that, Larry!
- 太可怕了 - 它就溅起来了... - It's horrible. - You know, it just goes up in the...
拉里 你尿到耶稣上了！ Larry, you sprayed on Jesus!
- 我能怎么样？ - 难以置信 - What can I do? - I can't believe it.
我吃了那种药以后就会弄的到处都是！ I'm taking this medication and it's getting all over the place!
我控制不了！ I can't control it!
教堂集会 巡回... The church groups, the tour...
并没有奇迹吗？ There was no miracle?
- 抱歉啊 - 妈... - Sorry. - Mom...
妈？ Mom?
她去哪儿了？ Where did she go?
- 到那边去了 - 她跑去哪儿了？！ - She went that way. - Where did she go?!
拉里！妈妈？ Larry! Mom?
- 她到底去哪儿了？ - 她能走多远啊？ - What the hell happened to her? - Like, how far could she have gone?
我不知道 不明白 I don't know. I don't get it.
- 妈！ - 考克伦夫人！ - Mom! - Mrs. Cochran!
妈妈？拉里 Mom? Larry.
拉里！天啊 Larry! Oh my gosh.
- 噢 上帝啊 - 快去... 上去抓住她 - Oh, Christ. - Let's go... Go get her.
噢 不！别... Oh no! Please...
拉里 Larry.
噢 拉里！ Oh, Larry!
坚持住 拉里 坚持住！ Hang on, Larry. Hang on!
拉里 Larry.
- 坚持住 - 啊啊啊 - Hold on. - Ahhhh.
翻译：CarolGao 校对：610、白羽黑鹭 英语字幕来源：tvsubtitles.net